Breaking up

I knew when I looked at him sitting across from me in the therapists room that it was over. I’d asked for a trial separation so that we could have some time and space to decide what we wanted to do. If we wanted to be together, or if splitting up was the best idea.

When we talked about expectations for the separation, I said that I would like to see him make an effort to contact me and maybe ask me out on dates or something like that. When the therapist asked what he thought, whether that’s something he could see himself doing. He said no.

That really made the decision. What was the point of going any further? He clearly had no intention of coming to the party and trying to make the relationship work. If he ever did.

So there we have it, the end of a relationship. And now we get to sort out the stuff like, who keeps the house or if we sell it.

At least my binge eating habits haven’t kicked in. Maybe part of the reason I was binge eating to begin with had to do with the stressors in this relationship. I don’t have those anymore. Maybe some different stressors to come but for now I feel ok.

Friday Favourites

It has been a rather eventful week for me and not really in the best way possible. My partner and I have decided to separate. I wanted to do a trial separation to see if the time apart would help, but when we talked about expectations during that time, it turns out he just wasn’t interested in doing anything to help or change. So that’s the end sadly.

There were still some good things that happened over the last week though, so I’ll share a few of them now.

Family day. My step-mum has been wanting to see Monarto Zoo for a while so last Saturday my Dad and I took her up there and we had a nice day going around and seeing all of the animals.

30th birthdays. A couple of my old high school buddies, who are actually married, had their joint 30th birthday over the weekend so it was nice to be able to celebrate with them. There was also an old friend there who I hadn’t seen in a really long time so it was great to be able to catch up with him too.

Long weekend. Oh I love a long weekend. Monday was a public holiday called Anzac Day where we have dawn services and such to remember those ANZACs who fell during the war.

Anzac Day lunch. At work we decided to hold an BBQ for Anzac Day. I brought in a portable BBQ and baked some Anzac cookies and the boys brought some snags so we trundled down to the soldiers memorial at the park just down the street from work. The weather even managed to be nice and sunny for us while we were there so it was lovely.

Aquapole. A girlfriend and I heard about this new craze hitting Australia called Aquapole, and as someone who enjoys both pole dancing and being in the water I thought this was a really cool idea. So, we have both signed up for classes! The first term doesn’t start until 25th May though so we have a bit of a wait but I’m also quite excited about it.

How has your week been? Are there any highlights you’d like to share?

Take care,

Jas

Friday Favourites

Not a lot has happened over the past week, things have been relatively quiet. Socially anyway. Work has been an absolute nightmare though and has been incredibly busy! I don’t have much to share by way of highlights this week because I’ve done really not much at all, partly because last weekend I was virtually couch and bed bound with a sore neck and shoulder, and partly because work has been so tiring I’ve been falling asleep really early in the evening!

Conflict resolution. This might be an odd one to highlight I know, but as a new manager I’ve not had to do any sort of conflict resolution with my staff..until this week. There was a bit of an email squabble and so I brought everyone into my office and got them to talk about it with my guidance. It actually went really well I thought, there was a lot of tension eased by doing that, so overall I was happy with it.

Afternoon tea. I caught up with one of my staff for afternoon tea and to have a bit of a one on one chat. She’s been driving me nuts lately with all her bitchiness and whining so it was a good opportunity to try and nut out why she’s acting that way, and there’s a few reasons I suspect, such as me being promoted instead of her, and unfortunately she’s just going to have to get over it cos that’s just the way it is. But nevertheless it was good to have a bit of an open chat and touch base.

Dietician. I saw my dietician for the first time in a couple of months. I’d been concerned that my eating was starting to get out of control again but she helped me see that it actually isn’t as bad as I see it in my head which is good.

Movies tonight. Soon my partner and I will be off to the movies, we’re going to see the new Divergent movie. I can’t remember the last time I went to the movies so I’m looking forward to it.

Despite a rather slow week, there are a few things I’m looking forward to over the next week like going to Monarto Zoo tomorrow, not as a volunteer but because my step-mum has been wanting to go for a while. There’s a friends 30th birthday as well and a public holiday on Monday for Anzac Day, so I’m looking forward to having a long weekend too.

Are there any highlights you would like to share?

Take care,

Jas

Motivational Monday – Procrastination

I saw this TED Talk video about procrastination, or rather what it’s like to be a procrastinator. I wonder if, like this guy says we are all procrastinators in some way. Whether we procrastinate with assignments for example by only just scraping in to get things done by the due date, or whether we mean to join the gym at some point, or start eating healthy at some point…

It doesn’t really give any answers but it is interesting to see just how a procrastinators mind works.

But what are some tips and tricks to help one overcome procrastination? There are loads and loads of tips on the internet of course, all written by people who I’m sure have never been a procrastinator. Have I been one? Yep. Not any more though. But what changed is a really hard thing to put my finger on.

I think it was partly to do with my mindset, and partly to do with giving myself damn due dates for everything, and making myself accountable to certain people like my boss for instance. He may ask me to do something “not important” and as a procrastinator that means it’ll never get done. So instead I ask him for a due date, end of this week or end of next week, whatever it happens to be. And yeah, I might still leave it until the last day or two to get it done but at least it gets done.

Sometimes breaking tasks down into smaller chunks and adding self-imposed deadlines can work for the more motivated types, but honestly…yeah no. Doesn’t work for me unless I actually have to give those results to someone else.

Maybe yelling at yourself, just freaking doing it! Putting on some peppy music, and get yourself psyched up like Rambo, and then just do it. Or like me get distracted by the music and forget whatever else you were meant to be doing…

Reward systems can help, as long as they are rewards that you wouldn’t normally give yourself. For instance, if I do X then afterwards I’ll read my book for half an hour. What makes that reward special? It needs to be special in order to help.

The hardest thing with procrastination is working out what will help you the most. Is it being with a buddy? Or announcing your goals to the world? Is it the reward system? Do you need someone else to impose deadlines?

Good luck everyone, and if you have any handy tips for beating procrastination, then please share them with me in the comments!

Take care,

Jas

Qualified volunteer!

I’m super excited to say that I have completed my training and am now qualified as a Mallee Minder volunteer with the Zoo, woohoo!

The training days were just really to familiarise me with how to get into the zoo and where to go, rostering, and of course meeting new people.

I have had some pretty cool experiences already, there’s the usual land maintenance and conservation work. But if doing that while being able to watch giraffe or Mongolian horses wasn’t cool enough, I have also been able to pat rhino, and given an odd, ad-hoc job of helping to round up yellow footed rock wallabies for their vet check.

Now that I am qualified though, it means I get my shirt and security pass into the zoo and get to choose which Wednesdays I can go up there and help out, I just need to send the supervisor a text and let him know I’m heading up.

 

Friday Favourites

This past week has actually gone by really quickly, I can’t believe it’s  mid-April!

Africa holiday. I mentioned last week that I had decided to go on an African Safari holiday through Tanzania and Rwanda. Last weekend I forked over quite a sum of money for flights and the safari deposit, so that’s it, I’m really going!

Flexibility class. On Saturday I had my weekly flexibility class, and my stretchiness is definitely improving which is great.

Friends birthday dinner. One of my closest girlfriends turned 30 last Sunday so she left the kids at home with her parents and we caught up for dinner on the Saturday night which was awesome, we had a really good time.

Family catch up. On Sunday my partner and I caught up with my Dad and Step-Mum for lunch and then headed over to my grandparents place for afternoon tea. It was nice to catch up and spend some time together, we don’t really do it too often.

Monarto Zoo. I had a volunteer day on Wednesday and am now officially a “Mallee Minder”, yay! The highlight for the day up there was rounding up the wallabies for their vet check, oh man that’s a lot of effort.

I hope you all had a great week, if there are any highlights you’d like to share just add them in the comments!

Take care,

Jas

Motivational Monday – Dancing

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I’ve been feeling this way recently with my dancing and as a consequence haven’t been doing it as much as I used to. I’ve forgotten why it is that I love dancing. The meaning of it got lost in trying to learn and perfect different moves, and only doing that. That was the focus of my training sessions rather than just absorbing the music and letting it move me and my feet. That sort of letting go and letting my mind run free with the music is what I love about dancing, and that’s what I need to be doing more of, and not just practising tricks or movements.

I think this applies to pretty much anything really. Whatever hobby or job we have, we need to remember what it is we love about doing it so that we can continue to really, truly enjoy what we’re doing.

Take care,

Jas