How do you judge someone’s personality?

I read an article on LinkedIn which suggests there are eight small things upon which others judge your personality. Here are those eight things:

  1. How you treat waiters and receptionists
  2. How often you check your phone
  3. Repetitive, nervous habits
  4. How long you take to ask questions
  5. Your handshake
  6. Tardiness
  7. Handwriting
  8. Eye contact

I agree with most of the things on this list I have to admit. Except for maybe someone’s handwriting, and that’s more because, who sees anyone’s handwriting anymore? It’s becoming more and more rare, though saying that if I saw a lawyer for instance who drew love hearts over the top of every “i” then I would find it hard to take them seriously.

I would add to that list, getting someone’s name right. My name is Jaslyn, and I have been called everything from Jasmine (understandable confusion), Joslyn, Jessalyn, Catherine, and many others. Sure, my name might be a bit unusual, but I came across someone the other day who still couldn’t get it right after I repeated it, spelled it and wrote it down. This actually was a lawyer, and needless to say I didn’t hire her as it didn’t leave a very good lasting impression; after all if she couldn’t get my name right, what else wouldn’t she get right?

Okay, so let’s explore the suggested list a little bit more.

How you treat waiters and receptionists

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Are you a snob? Do you think you’re better than these people? Thence nice and treat them like a human being. They don’t deserve to be treated differently just because you might happen to be a manager and sit further up a corporate tree than them. Thank them, show them common courtesies, ask them how they’re doing. Not doing that, and looking down on them instead or snubbing them, not saying than you to waiters when they refill your water glass or take your dishes away, just makes you look like a jerk in my eyes.

How often you check your phone

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Oh my gosh, I cannot stand when people bring phones to meetings, or you go catch up with someone and they won’t stop checking their freaking phones. I mean seriously, are you there to catch up with me or to play with your damn phone? It is so incredibly rude to check your phone when someone is in the middle of talking, it is one of my absolute pet hates.

In meetings, I understand some staff are on call and that is fine, but just bringing your phone in just because… it’s just not on. If you’re expecting an urgent call, then you let the group know, with an apology for bringing the phone in.

If you bring the phone in to a meeting for no reason, or you keep checking it while we’re catching up, you will lose brownie points.

Repetitive, nervous habits

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Twirling your hair, picking at your finger nails, knees jumping up and down, nervous babbling. This can give the appearance of being unsettled, nervous, unsure and lacking in confidence. Some people just have those kinds of personalities, and I think we all have them in certain situations. But at work, if I see someone like that it makes me think twice about what tasks I might delegate them because I get a sense of incompetence when they show these traits when doing the basics, I don’t feel confident in getting them to try and do any more.

If you are not sure what your nervous ticks might be, then film yourself for a while, film yourself under pressure and see what it is that you do. One of the girls I pole with worked out the other day that when she’s trying to gear herself up for a hard trick she does three things, adjusts her bottoms, tightens her pony tail and then scratches her nose!

We all do it, the best I can recommend is work out what your nervous ticks are, and be conscious of in what situations they occur and try to avoid doing them.

How long you take to ask questions

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Ok so this one isn’t about how long it takes you to formulate a question, but rather, how long you keep jabbering about yourself before you ask the other person a question. These are those people who talk about themselves a lot. While you’re sitting there wondering when this person will just shut the hell up. And if they do ask you a question it tends to only be because they actually want to answer it themselves.

If someone asks you a question, answer it succinctly but follow their body language to gauge their interest. If they continue to ask you questions then by all means keep answering them, but do try and ask them questions as well, at least as many as they’re asking you.

Your handshake

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Raise your hand if you hate a limp handshake? What does it tell you about the person? I try not to put too much stock in them anymore as it seems most people either do the dainty half shake or have a limp handshake these days. But I do like it when I find someone who has a strong grip handshake like me, I find it instills a bit more confidence in them. They come across as a strong and confident person to me, whereas sometimes the limp or dainty ones can be a bit like they’re a bit grossed out by even just shaking someone’s hand.

A firm handshake is the way to go!

Tardiness

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Do not ever be late!

Unless you have a legitimate reason, tardiness is just not acceptable. It doesn’t show any respect for the person you’re meeting with or catching up with. It makes it seem as though you think it’s perfectly fine to to waste their time, like it’s not as valuable as theirs.

If you are running late for whatever reason, you let them know as soon as you can. And by as soon as you can, I don’t mean, you’re due to meet at 2pm so you text them at 2.05 saying oops I’m running late.

Handwriting

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So analysing someone’s handwriting used to be a thing, but in the electronic age I can’t say I get much of a chance to see anyone’s handwriting anymore. If I did see an adult doing love hearts or something everywhere then I’d probably frown and wonder how seriously they took themselves though.

Eye contact

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I do have to wonder what is wrong with people who can’t look you in the eye when having a conversation. Sometimes it feels like they’re trying to hide something, and sometimes it just comes across as being nervous and not confident in themselves. And then flip side of that the people who hold your eye for too long, it can feel like they’re either flirting with you or that they’re trying to intimidate you by staring you down.

This is a tricky one, how do you know how much eye contact is enough? I think it depends on who you’re talking to. Your intimate partner you want to be able to look them deep in the eyes and have an open and honest conversation and see that reflected in their eyes. Someone you’ve just met you might hold their eyes for a second, maybe look at their lips as they’re talking, if you stop and think about something, sometimes I’d glance over their shoulder or something so it doesn’t look like I’m frowning at them or glaring or anything.

This can be a really hard one to get right, so if you’re unsure then maybe talk to your family or close friends, or just watch them and see how they interact with others and how they’re received by others. If you’re really concerned I’m sure there are short courses on verbal and non-verbal communication that might help.


Are there any other ways you use to judge people’s personalities? Let me know in the comments below!

Take care,

Jas

Nearly holiday time!

Today is my last day of work for about a week, and I’m excited to be getting some time off to have a short getaway with my partner and then have some time to myself as well.

Things with my partner have been strained recently, and we had a counselling session earlier in the week which was actually really good and eased some of the tension. It also gave us a focus point for our little holiday. I’d been feeling a bit dubious and tense about the whole thing, but now that we’ve been instructed that the focus of the holiday is our friendship, I feel a lot better. Despite everything that might have been going on, we always had a good friendship, could always have a good joke and even talk about random things like how black holes work.

Anyway, we are headed off to Kangaroo Island tomorrow morning, and managed to get a holiday house for the stay, so I’m looking forward to the peace and quiet that will provide. A couple of nights ago we wrote down a bit of an itinerary of what to see and do while we’re there. I’m really looking forward to seeing Remarkable Rocks and Seal Bay, I reckon they might be my highlights!

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Apparently phone reception over there for my provider is pretty poor, so it’s entirely likely I won’t be doing any blogging until next week some time thanks to that.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter break!

Take care,

Jas

Zoo volunteering update

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About a month ago I posted saying I had been accepted as a volunteer up at Monarto Zoo. I was, and still am, super excited about this opportunity, but the last month since being accepted has been both full on while there’s also been not much happening at all!

I attended an Orientation and Basic Training day about three weeks ago where I learnt a bit more about Monarto and Zoos SA, things like OH&S, the expectations of volunteers and that sort of thing. So all very generic, which was fine. We also got a trip around Monarto Zoo so that we could see where we’d be working from, and learn a bit more about the Zoo from behind the scenes. That was really cool.

In the last three weeks since then, I have been put in contact with my trainer for the Mallee Minders so am now trying to work out dates I can do that with work, and after I’ve done that I’ll be fully qualified, yay! I’ve also had to organise a police check which is a pain in the bum but because I’ll be a volunteer with Zoos SA I get it for free which is good. On top of that there is a Volunteers Meeting this Saturday which I’m hoping to go to, but it starts right when the Zoo is opening and I don’t have a pass or anything to get in, so I’m waiting to hear how all of that will work.

It definitely feels like it’s all happening, and I’m pretty pumped. The only other thing I really need to do is go shopping and buy some appropriate pants to wear as a Mallee Minder. They have to be like Hard Yakka pants (or shorts), so I need to work out where the hell I can buy those for ladies as I’ve only ever seen them for sale for the guys.

Are you just starting volunteering anywhere? Or have you been volunteering for a while? What do you enjoy about it?

Take care,

Jas

Exploring how to achieve my “wants”

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to work out what I want to be doing with my life, and I’ve come up with a few ideas which I have been further exploring to do some goal setting to help me achieve them.

Here’s a list of things that I came up with:

  • I’d like to be more active
  • I’d like to be fit
  • I’d like to be good at pole dancing
  • I’d like my eating to be healthier
  • I’d like my house to be neat and tidy
  • I’d like my house to be clean
  • I’d like to be more in touch with my spiritual side

I’ve come up with a brief description of each of these things to help me start building goals around them.

Being more active

The big question is, what kind of active to do I want to be? I’m thinking active things that I find fun, so things like pole dancing, kayaking, walking, visiting the zoo. The next thing I’d need to have a think about is how often I want to do it and how often I actually can do these things.

Being fit

I suppose the thing with this is really what my measurement of fitness is. I imagine this might change over time as I achieve the level of fitness I want now, then I can set another goal. At the moment, being able to run 5km and doing a complex pole routine without feeling like I’m dying at the end is how I’d measure fitness currently.

Pole dancing

I have a long way to go before I am what I think of as a good pole dancer, but I have a few milestones along the way to help get me there. So being able to hold an invert, then choreographing a routine and then maybe competing in an amateur competition before moving on to something like Miss Pole Dance.

Healthy eating

Lots of people have different ideas about what this looks like and to be honest I don’t really by into much of the fad stuff like paleo or raw diets or whatever. I particularly find it challenging to have the time to do all of that but nevertheless would like to make healthy changes to what I’m eating. So for me that means less cafe bought lunches, more fruits or fruit products like dried fruits or fruit yoghurt, and more salad wraps rather than heavy bread sandwiches or rolls, and definitely healthier dinners. One of my biggest problems is grazing once I get home, so I need to figure out how to wind that back.

Neat and tidy house

I suspect this is going to be a challenging one because I live with my partner and will really need his input in cleaning up after himself. He’s shocking at it, and I’m not the best but I can keep on top of my own mess when I apply myself but he’s a bit of a slob which frustrates me. So this one is going to be about talking with him I think, discussing what is an isn’t an acceptable measure of messiness, and maybe even create a roster of some sort to help keep the house tidy.

A cleaner house

This ties in with the previous one. I already put a lot of effort into keeping the house clean, but with two people and a dog it takes more than what I would do living on my own. Really for this I would like to see no dog hair on the floor, if something is spilt on the floor it’s cleaned up straight away, and for the toilet and shower to be cleaned more regularly. This one I think is really going to need a roster that I’m sure I’ll have to enforce somehow.

My spiritual side

To me this is all about spending time with myself doing things like meditation, maybe a bit of yoga and relaxation as well. The self-love and self-healing sort of stuff. There are all sorts of sessions, half day retreats, and even weekends where you can go and spend time doing this stuff so I think it’ll be a matter of making sure I book in to do some of those.


 

Now that I have a bit of an idea of what for me is involved in each of these I can begin to make some solid plans and goals to help me achieve those. I think I have a lot of work ahead of me with some of it, but I feel good about doing it and working towards all of this.

Have you done this before? Looked at the things that you want and done some goal setting and planning around them? Do you have any tips or tricks you can share with me?

Take care,

Jas

My Victorian Getaway

I have been absent from blogging for over a week now, not for no reason but because I desperately needed time to think and work out what it is I actually want and need to be doing here. Not just with this blog, but with many other parts of my life as well. Let me tell you how this all came about…

On Saturday 13th February I headed over to Victoria for a short getaway. I was staying with a friend who I used to work with, and she has been studying many forms of healing, mostly spiritual in nature. I guess you would call her an esoteric healer.

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The reason I chose to go over to stay with her at that time was because on the Sunday she was doing a Horse to Heart Mindfulness session. This is a mindfulness and meditation session where she uses her horses as kind of like a grounding force, the are big animals, they are calm, and they also have massive heart space so if you’re like me and feel a bit heavy hearted and want to lean on someone, you can just lean on the horse and let it out. Which is exactly what I did.

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This was then followed by a spiritual healing session on the Monday morning before I left. I have always been curious about this and open to the idea that maybe there is something more out there, or scientifically maybe it’s just some kind of psychology behind meditation and music. Whatever you want to believe, it was an extremely powerful session for me.

The question I held in my mind was “Am I on the right path?” There were a couple of streams behind that; my relationship with my mother, my relationship with my partner, work and study and volunteering, blogging. In my mind I had these visions of different aspects of my life for example, my mother, every time she came near I was filled with a blackness that came from her and envisaged myself pushing this blackness back to her so as not to consume myself. There were many other things that I saw and felt during the healing and it brought up things that I honestly didn’t even know were bothering me, and I am still feeling the repercussions of those now a week later.

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With my blogging, I actually have three blogs all about totally different things and I realised that although I love blogging I was making it more about getting those likes and comments and stuff, and less about me and expressing myself. I found that I was blogging up to 3-4 times a day across all these different blogs and would get really stressed if I wasn’t able to do it. So I realised that I needed to take it back down to a level where I still enjoyed it and it was about expressing myself and sharing how I feel about things with, well, whoever the hell wants to read my blog.

So I am in struggle town at the moment, sorting through all of this, though thankfully haven’t gone back into my binge-eating habits which is a win. But I do feel that come what may, the changes I need to make, it fills me with light so I know I will be ok.

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This kind of spiritual healing I know isn’t for everyone. I had some incredibly powerful visions while I was doing it and felt like I’d run a marathon afterwards. If you have an open mind and feel like there are things that are unresolved or buried and you need help working through them, then maybe interview a couple of healers and see if you meet any that you have a connection or feel comfortable with, and try it out.

I’m going to be a volunteer!

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On Tuesday I had an interview with Zoos SA for a volunteer position with Monarto Zoo. I’m happy to say that I have been accepted, woohoo!

What this means is I have to do a day of orientation and basic training, and then three days of specific training with the group I’ll be working with which is the Mallee Minders. Basically the Mallee Minders look after the zoo land, so it could be anything from a spot of gardening, building paths or helping with fire breaks, anything that helps maintain the land of the zoo.

There will be a second round of training from about July this year where I’m also hoping to do training as a Platform Host which means you go out on the platforms and just talk to people, answer any questions they may have about the zoo or the animals in them. I like the people interaction of that role, but also the fact that it’s not a Tour Guide position which means you’re not repeating the same script over and over again.

Do you do any volunteer work? Let me know in the comments below how you find the volunteer work you do!

Take care,

Jas